Jason's Top Ten

Top Ten Things About the 2004 Athens Olympics

10. It was a showcase for underappreciated sports and athletes. 

  9.  Watching the Olympics on the Mexican television stations just to hear the commentators, who are obviously drunk, break down into a lewd sexual comment each time a good looking female athlete comes on screen. 

8.  It helped me learn not to take Major League Baseball for granted. 

  7.  It was a forum for all the stupid sports people practice around the world.  (Example:  Air Rifle, Ping Pong, Badminton, Synchronized Diving, Team Gay Hugging, etc.)

6.  All the hot girls who played beach volleyball in their little bikinis.  You made your respective countries and I very proud.

5.  It helped me learn not to take the NFL for granted.

  4.  All the hot female athletes who felt the urge to take off their clothes for men's magazines in order to promote the Olympics.  (Example:  Logan Tom, Amanda Beard, Amy Acuff, Volleyball Players, etc.)

3.  It helped me learn not to take College Football for granted.

  2.  Russian backstroke swimmer, Станислава Комарова / Stanislava Komarova.  Because she's pretty, she kicks ass and she doesn't wear goggles.

1.  All the good looking female athletes, especially the Russians and the Americans, for gracing my television screen and my heart for two weeks.  Thank You.

I watched an ungodly amount of Olympic coverage.  But if you were to ask me who won a medal or what happened, I wouldn't know.  But if you were to ask me what a specific womens volleyball player's ass looks like, I'd be able to draw you a flawless picture.  So if the Olympics served any purpose, it was to fill my mind with precious memories of supple beach volleyball players adjusting their swimsuits, gorgeous swimmers getting wet, luscious volleyball players engaging in a team hug, and slender runners bouncing around the track.  Goodbye Olympics, we'll meet again in four years.  And maybe I'll see some of these girls before then, hopefully on Cinemax or Playboy.   

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