Jason's Top Ten

Top Ten Cartoon Characters I Wouldn't Want to Get in a Fight With

  10. Marmaduke - He's pretty big and he's a dog.  It's pretty hard to fight against a big dog.

  9.  AlexHorse - I'm not so scared of fighting him as I am scared of him humping me.

  8.  Oswald the Lucky Rabbit - He's been in the equivalent of cartoon prison for the last 50 years, so he knows a thing or two about shanking, and he's finally out.  Of all the cartoon characters on this list, he is the most likely to shank you.  And I don't want to get shanked.

  7.  Yellow Ghost - He has crazy eyes.  You just know he's going to do something crazy in a fight.

  6.  Hamtaro - Although he is small, Hamtaro is very brave.  I would imagine he would measure you up then crawl up your pants and bite your crotch area.  That would be very painful.

  5.  Casey Jones - He wears a jock strap so he's practically impervious to groin attacks.  Plus, the guy who played him in the movie plays super kinky guy in Crash.  That's just wrong.

  4.  The Gay Chubby Cat from "Thundercats" - I think his name is Snarf.  I could probably kick it's ass, but here's the thing.   If he starts talking and whining with that stupid, annoying voice of his you get the feeling your brains will explode and then how will you land a punch?

  3.  Mr. Mouse - He has incredible wins in fights against strong opponents like Dr. Ruth, the Motley Crue Tour Bus, and Hitler.  If Dolph Lundgren and Rutger Hauer lost to him, what chance do I have.  He's the real Mighty Mouse.

  2.  Farfetch'd - He fights with a green onion, 'Nuff said.  Besides he just looks so cool, and I can never resist the opportunity to put up a Farfetch'd picture.  In fact, here's another one just for you guys.

  1.  Pepito, The Biggest Cat in the Whole Wide World! - I think I'm allergic to cats, so fighting the biggest cat in the world would be a bitch.

Our very own Gary "Spacelord" Adams has a cat.  And every time I touch it my eyes get all red and I get all itchy.  So I guess cats are a weakness of mine.  But when you think about it, isn't pussy every man's kryptonite.  And pussy don't get any bigger than Pepito.  For more information on Pepito go here (If this isn't the greatest thing ever put on the internet, I don't know what is.  I'm actually ashamed we didn't think of it first.).     

And yes, I know I'm shamelessly promoting some of my cartoons.  But if you were the webmaster of a third-rate website you'd do the same thing.

Archive >> - Past top ten lists.